I’m doing a re-watch of Answer Me 1997 and I adore Joon Hee and want him to just find love and happiness. Were you a fan of Hoya before that show or after?

Short answer: after.

Long answer: Considering that I’m approximately a week away from seeing Hobaby once again in the flesh, and I have accumulated many new followers since the last time I discussed my Hoya fangirlism, I think it’s only fair to retell the fascinating story of my journey to becoming a loyal devotee of the Hogod. Those of you who know the story can just keep scrolling, but the rest of you who wonder why I give you your daily dose of Hoya, gather around and enjoy a tale of one girl’s fateful discovery of this strange thing we call a “bias.”

I’ve been aware of Infinite since their debut due to my love of Epik High and Nell (but no love for Woolliment even if they at one time had two of my favorite groups under their label), but their debut songs didn’t really appeal to me. Their sound wasn’t the kind of sound I go for, so while they were a name I recognized in the kpop world, it was not a name that meant anything to me. Except for “BTD” most of their music just wasn’t my style.

Due to how much I enjoyed MBLAQ’s Sesame Player (the best version of this show, I say in utmost devotion), I started watching Infinite’s version, although I quickly grew bored with it after a few episodes because I didn’t know who all these kids were and it was just too much effort to keep who-was-who straight. However, I did especially like the awkward cutie who kept eluding the managers grasp during their mission to run away, would eat vinegar-filled bananas without complaining, embraced the ridiculousness of a WGM-type “rapper love-line,” wears big ol’ glasses when not on stage/camera/performing, sleeps soundly to hip-hop music, and has a photo of his family as a promise to work hard and make them proud. But I wouldn’t be able to pick that cutie out of a line-up or even remember his name.

Then Reply 1997 happened.

This perfect specimen of a drama has so many characters to love, but my beloved Kang Joon Hee became the character I was most obsessed with (and I was far from alone in that). As a side-note, this drama also marked the period when I discovered more of the kdrama fandom here on tumblr and started to interact with that fandom, so it’s even more special to me.

After the drama ended, I still wouldn’t classify myself as a fan of Hoya. I was a fan of Kang Joon Hee, of this character created by Shin PD who just happened to be portrayed by Hoya. Infinite still wasn’t a group I cared about and while I would defend Joon Hee to the death, I still wouldn’t be able to pick out any of the Infinite boys out of a line-up or even tell you what their songs were beyond the popular “BTD” and its scorpion dance.

Then Infinite H happened.

I’m a huge fan of Ameoba Culture’s (then) artist line-up (*cries endless tears over Supreme Team*) and so I don’t think it mattered what idol sub-unit it was, I was definitely going to check-out new songs produced by Primary and featuring Zion.T, Dynamic Duo, Paloalto, and Bumkey. The fact it was the cutie who portrayed my beloved Joon Hee was just a bonus.

And that’s when I started to become a fan, because these songs were so good. I mean… how could I not love this perfection? Or this? Or this? Or this? Or just… yeah. So my love of a character slowly became appreciation for that idol-actor’s talents.

Then Destiny happened.

Like I’ve said, Infinite’s music is not generally my kind of sound. But this performance had me hooked and I immediately ordered the album, which is a compliment of the highest order because shelling out cash for a physical copy is a rare thing for me. Also I adored their MV, as followers during that time will attest due to my endless reblogs of Hoya and his skirt. (Destiny is still their best album in my opinion.)

It’s then that I realized I was beginning to have a serious fangirl problem, but I was only really a fan of Hoya, not the whole group, y’know? So I didn’t consider myself an Inspirit. I did, however, go back and rewatch all of Sesame Player (where I was delighted to discover the awkward cutie I liked best was my beloved Hoya so we are meant to be), and then any other variety shows I could get my lil’ hands on like Ranking King and all their appearances on Weekly Idol. Now, even though I might not be able to list off all their songs, I could at least pick the seven boys out of a line-up and also know which face went to what name. A triumph of fangirl devotion.

Then One Great Step happened.

So here I am, slowly blossoming in my fangirl adoration of Hoya and learning about this boy band I’d previously dismissed for years, when suddenly there’s word that they’re going to be giving a concert in the US. AHHHHHHH how can I not go? But there was the internal struggle of “I’m not a real Inspirit – I don’t even think I like a lot of their music. Will I actually enjoy a full concert? BUT HOW CAN I MISS THE CHANCE TO SEE MY BELOVED HOYA? HOOOOWWWWW?”

Caps-lock wins, every time. My ticket-ninja ways scored me a pit ticket (A PIT TICKET!!!!) and I was excited to go to kpop concert and actually be so close to the pretty-pretty faces on stage (without fear of being trampled, because yay assigned seats). Who cares what I thought about their music or my vague ambivalence about the rest of the boys. I WAS GOING TO BE MERE FEET AWAY FROM THE HOGOD.

To make a longer story just a wee bit shorter, they ended up moving a few of us who were wayyyyyyyy on the edge of the pit to behind the pit (which was kind of a bummer) but first row of the orchestra section, so, hey, still a good view, and the house managers/show producer kept promising us it’d be worth it. IT WAS IT SO TOTALLY WAS because even though we were further back, we were front row in the aisle and so when the boys walked through during a couple of the songs, they were mere feet away, maybe even less than a foot a times.

Hoya looked at me. We made eye contact. He touched my hand. I just about died, tbh. (I still vividly remember how good he smelled.)

The concert was great, though, all fangirl hyperventilation aside. I learned that the boys are really talented (duh) because their vocals were live (and good) while they did all those intricate dances, and I became a bit of a Sunggyu fan because of his rock-version “60 Seconds” solo.

So now, I suppose, I could officially call myself an Inspirit, since I fully enjoyed the concert (and even liked the songs that I normally would automatically skip if they popped up on a playlist), although my devotion is still primarily to Hoya.

It was around that time I realized I was spamming my followers with floods of Hoya reblogs whenever the mood struck, and as someone who doesn’t prefer my dash to be flooded with endless reblogs of things, I needed to figure out a way to restrain myself.

Thus, “a hoya a day keeps a doctor away” was born, and the queue became my new BFF. The first time I used the tag was exactly two years ago, and I had no problem keeping it filled to the max, holding posts in reserve in the drafts until space could be made to squeeze them in. Until now, that is, when I’ve become so busy that I don’t hang out here as much and so I miss lots of Hoya posts. Now my queue is at a measly 40 posts instead of the bloated 300 it once was. WHAT KIND OF FANGIRL AM I?

A fangirl who’s going to see them in a little over a week, so I’m sure I’ll find a way to pad out that queue thanks to fancams (that will not be taken by me, obviously). And while I’m trying to not get my hopes up since I won’t have the killer-awesome seat I did last time, there’s a part of me that still desperately hopes I’ll get to touch the Hogod again. Let’s pray the daily sacrifice of reblogs has been sufficient and he’ll smile down on me and extend his hand so I can die in rapturous peace.

And that’s the story of how I fell down the rabbit hole and became a fan of Hoya.

The end. (For now.)

yoongisoo:

The reason why I like you, is because you are you. Just you.
That’s the only reason. Are there other reasons for me to like you?
I wish I knew. Then I could figure out how to stop liking you.