I’m now in California!

Less than 24 hours until is see the Hogod in the flesh!!!!!

What, me, excited? Nahhhh. :p

(Sorry to any CA peeps – you know who you are! – this is just a quick trip so no time for meet ups. I’m about to crash in my hotel room and then spend the morning recapping ‘cause dramas stop for no idol bias. But the reward after a day of work will be with it! ^_^)

One of the girls who was hired to do what I do when I’m not here quit without notice and everyone’s scrambling to cover next week because I’m like “hahaha no overtime thank you I am going out of town!”

It’s the slow season so we’re not too bothered, since I can barely find enough to do as it is. And I’m not crying about her leaving because she was really frustrating to work with and kept making serious mistakes even though I kept teaching her how to do it properly. She also told everyone where I hid a secret stash of pens (because no one can keep a pen here to save their lives and I need them for guests to fill out forms). It was a secret stash for a reason!

She also made me realize that a ten-year age-gap really makes a difference in terms of experience and responsibility, and even though I act like I’m allergic to responsibility, I am more of an adult than I give myself credit for.

Basically no tears for her quitting but not eager to see what kind of schedule I’ll have for the next couple of weeks until we can hire/train someone new.

Had some leftover panettone/panetón today and was delighted that I could enjoy it on Three Kings Day aka Epiphany. I think we always intended to keep some for Epiphany but I don’t remember if any loaves lasted that long.

So in this surprising manner, it actually felt like Christmas to me this year, when I thought it would be a total bust.

Thank you, random friend of one of my coworkers, for bringing her a sweet treat that she decided to share with all of us and thus creating a small Christmas miracle.

Someone brought in a loaf of panettone and it made me unexpectedly happy. My aunt used to make homemade panettone every year when I was growing up, and even though I would pick out the sultanas because I don’t like raisins, it was still one of those memorable traditions of the holidays.

My aunt no longer makes it (because who has time for that anymore?) and I’ve been known to pick up some store-bought to bring to family holiday gatherings, but haven’t the past couple of years because everyone has been so busy (this year especially). I even forgot about this “traditional treat” (I only remembered that I had no tamales. *cries*).

So now I’m sipping my tea and nomming on the comforting and homey taste of panettone, and feeling unexpectedly festive on this dreary Monday morning.

The last couple of weeks we’ve had ~150 guests in house.

Today we have 20. Or we will have, once everyone arrives, because right now there’s 12.

I’m happy for the slow season because I’m just beginning to recover from the holiday season, but I’m also wondering how I will fill my time today.

I’m doing a re-watch of Answer Me 1997 and I adore Joon Hee and want him to just find love and happiness. Were you a fan of Hoya before that show or after?

Short answer: after.

Long answer: Considering that I’m approximately a week away from seeing Hobaby once again in the flesh, and I have accumulated many new followers since the last time I discussed my Hoya fangirlism, I think it’s only fair to retell the fascinating story of my journey to becoming a loyal devotee of the Hogod. Those of you who know the story can just keep scrolling, but the rest of you who wonder why I give you your daily dose of Hoya, gather around and enjoy a tale of one girl’s fateful discovery of this strange thing we call a “bias.”

I’ve been aware of Infinite since their debut due to my love of Epik High and Nell (but no love for Woolliment even if they at one time had two of my favorite groups under their label), but their debut songs didn’t really appeal to me. Their sound wasn’t the kind of sound I go for, so while they were a name I recognized in the kpop world, it was not a name that meant anything to me. Except for “BTD” most of their music just wasn’t my style.

Due to how much I enjoyed MBLAQ’s Sesame Player (the best version of this show, I say in utmost devotion), I started watching Infinite’s version, although I quickly grew bored with it after a few episodes because I didn’t know who all these kids were and it was just too much effort to keep who-was-who straight. However, I did especially like the awkward cutie who kept eluding the managers grasp during their mission to run away, would eat vinegar-filled bananas without complaining, embraced the ridiculousness of a WGM-type “rapper love-line,” wears big ol’ glasses when not on stage/camera/performing, sleeps soundly to hip-hop music, and has a photo of his family as a promise to work hard and make them proud. But I wouldn’t be able to pick that cutie out of a line-up or even remember his name.

Then Reply 1997 happened.

This perfect specimen of a drama has so many characters to love, but my beloved Kang Joon Hee became the character I was most obsessed with (and I was far from alone in that). As a side-note, this drama also marked the period when I discovered more of the kdrama fandom here on tumblr and started to interact with that fandom, so it’s even more special to me.

After the drama ended, I still wouldn’t classify myself as a fan of Hoya. I was a fan of Kang Joon Hee, of this character created by Shin PD who just happened to be portrayed by Hoya. Infinite still wasn’t a group I cared about and while I would defend Joon Hee to the death, I still wouldn’t be able to pick out any of the Infinite boys out of a line-up or even tell you what their songs were beyond the popular “BTD” and its scorpion dance.

Then Infinite H happened.

I’m a huge fan of Ameoba Culture’s (then) artist line-up (*cries endless tears over Supreme Team*) and so I don’t think it mattered what idol sub-unit it was, I was definitely going to check-out new songs produced by Primary and featuring Zion.T, Dynamic Duo, Paloalto, and Bumkey. The fact it was the cutie who portrayed my beloved Joon Hee was just a bonus.

And that’s when I started to become a fan, because these songs were so good. I mean… how could I not love this perfection? Or this? Or this? Or this? Or just… yeah. So my love of a character slowly became appreciation for that idol-actor’s talents.

Then Destiny happened.

Like I’ve said, Infinite’s music is not generally my kind of sound. But this performance had me hooked and I immediately ordered the album, which is a compliment of the highest order because shelling out cash for a physical copy is a rare thing for me. Also I adored their MV, as followers during that time will attest due to my endless reblogs of Hoya and his skirt. (Destiny is still their best album in my opinion.)

It’s then that I realized I was beginning to have a serious fangirl problem, but I was only really a fan of Hoya, not the whole group, y’know? So I didn’t consider myself an Inspirit. I did, however, go back and rewatch all of Sesame Player (where I was delighted to discover the awkward cutie I liked best was my beloved Hoya so we are meant to be), and then any other variety shows I could get my lil’ hands on like Ranking King and all their appearances on Weekly Idol. Now, even though I might not be able to list off all their songs, I could at least pick the seven boys out of a line-up and also know which face went to what name. A triumph of fangirl devotion.

Then One Great Step happened.

So here I am, slowly blossoming in my fangirl adoration of Hoya and learning about this boy band I’d previously dismissed for years, when suddenly there’s word that they’re going to be giving a concert in the US. AHHHHHHH how can I not go? But there was the internal struggle of “I’m not a real Inspirit – I don’t even think I like a lot of their music. Will I actually enjoy a full concert? BUT HOW CAN I MISS THE CHANCE TO SEE MY BELOVED HOYA? HOOOOWWWWW?”

Caps-lock wins, every time. My ticket-ninja ways scored me a pit ticket (A PIT TICKET!!!!) and I was excited to go to kpop concert and actually be so close to the pretty-pretty faces on stage (without fear of being trampled, because yay assigned seats). Who cares what I thought about their music or my vague ambivalence about the rest of the boys. I WAS GOING TO BE MERE FEET AWAY FROM THE HOGOD.

To make a longer story just a wee bit shorter, they ended up moving a few of us who were wayyyyyyyy on the edge of the pit to behind the pit (which was kind of a bummer) but first row of the orchestra section, so, hey, still a good view, and the house managers/show producer kept promising us it’d be worth it. IT WAS IT SO TOTALLY WAS because even though we were further back, we were front row in the aisle and so when the boys walked through during a couple of the songs, they were mere feet away, maybe even less than a foot a times.

Hoya looked at me. We made eye contact. He touched my hand. I just about died, tbh. (I still vividly remember how good he smelled.)

The concert was great, though, all fangirl hyperventilation aside. I learned that the boys are really talented (duh) because their vocals were live (and good) while they did all those intricate dances, and I became a bit of a Sunggyu fan because of his rock-version “60 Seconds” solo.

So now, I suppose, I could officially call myself an Inspirit, since I fully enjoyed the concert (and even liked the songs that I normally would automatically skip if they popped up on a playlist), although my devotion is still primarily to Hoya.

It was around that time I realized I was spamming my followers with floods of Hoya reblogs whenever the mood struck, and as someone who doesn’t prefer my dash to be flooded with endless reblogs of things, I needed to figure out a way to restrain myself.

Thus, “a hoya a day keeps a doctor away” was born, and the queue became my new BFF. The first time I used the tag was exactly two years ago, and I had no problem keeping it filled to the max, holding posts in reserve in the drafts until space could be made to squeeze them in. Until now, that is, when I’ve become so busy that I don’t hang out here as much and so I miss lots of Hoya posts. Now my queue is at a measly 40 posts instead of the bloated 300 it once was. WHAT KIND OF FANGIRL AM I?

A fangirl who’s going to see them in a little over a week, so I’m sure I’ll find a way to pad out that queue thanks to fancams (that will not be taken by me, obviously). And while I’m trying to not get my hopes up since I won’t have the killer-awesome seat I did last time, there’s a part of me that still desperately hopes I’ll get to touch the Hogod again. Let’s pray the daily sacrifice of reblogs has been sufficient and he’ll smile down on me and extend his hand so I can die in rapturous peace.

And that’s the story of how I fell down the rabbit hole and became a fan of Hoya.

The end. (For now.)

Someone asked if I wouldn’t mind her picking up my shift tomorrow since she’s only scheduled for three days next week. At first I was like “but monies to pay for things” then I realized I’ve been working nonstop the past two weeks with only one day off so I was like “aw yessssss I can use a day to do nothing but sleep.”

So yay for a day off tomorrow!

Am about to fall asleep because yay painkillers, but I decided to open my parents’ care packages because I was like “dammit I need something happy right now.”

Of note:

  • Christmas wrapping paper that have images of cute brussels sprouts in top hats (Brits will understand why this is Christmas paper)
  • My parents always send me a calendar, and this time i will spend 2016 staring at cute Highland coos. (One of my fave memories of isle of Skye is feeding carrots to the shaggy cows.)
  • A gorgeous Mulan ornament (that will go so nicely with my Mushu shoe ornament!)
  • Handcrafted “set” of the The Princess Bride dvd, the original novel by William Goldman, and Cary Elwes’ book, As You Wish.
  • Lots of dvds (mostly documentaries about Disney – parks, history of the animation, music for the films, etc. I don’t know if my parents are trying to send me a hint or just want to ensure that if we ever go on a Disney cruise again, we’re not going to lose so abysmally during the Disney-centric trivia games.)
  • Lots of treats! Tea and sweets, mostly. I know Minstrels are nothing special – I think it’s the brand we call “Dove” here – but I have yet to find an US equivalent, so I love it when my parents use those as “padding” in the box. (Also Curly Wurly – just chocolate and caramel but still, no US equivalent. Candy is the best padding tbh.)
  • Big Hero 6 figurine set. Fun fact: my parents always send me a figurine set for Christmas, usually Disney-related. 
  • Plush Minnie Mouse doll in her Christmas outfit. This genuinely made me go “awwww” and feel a little emotional because when I was a kid, we had a Mickey and Minnie plush doll set that would sit under the tree, and I remember playing with them ever since I was tiny. So it’s like I can create my own little tradition (I actually think my parents still have those dolls).
  • …yeah it’s a lot of Disney, isn’t it? I still think of myself as a vague, casual fan, but Disney holds a lot of important family memories for us. (Which is why I’m half convinced my parents will tell me to start planning a trip next year or something.)
  • Oh, and not in these boxes: the annual Barbie ornament, shipped directly from Hallmark since Mum couldn’t find one near her.
  • …I swear I’m a grown adult. I swear.
  • …but it’s nice to feel like a kid again at Christmas, even if you’re spending it alone. Or especially if you’re spending it alone.
  • Aw, I’d start tearing up, but man these pain killers are great and I feel awesome so now I’m going to nibble on some chocolate and fall asleep to whatever schlocky Christmas stuff I can find on Netflix or Hulu, since BFQOTY hasn’t aired yet and that’s my favorite holiday thing to watch. OMG I just looked to see if they’d have an additional anniversary BFQOTY like they’ve had the past few years and discovered that not only will the holiday BFQOTY have Richard Ayoade (my favorite) but the second post-New Year’s quiz will have Noel Fielding and Ayoade back together again. I CANNOT WAIT.
  • …ok maybe this isn’t such a terrible Christmas after all…

I fell at work today for reasons that aren’t important (for once it wasn’t just me being clumsy or stupid), and now am at home in bed, waiting for my prescription-strength pain-killers to kick in.

The nice thing about it, though, is I got to cry through the last couple of hours of my shift and blame it on the pain, even though I’m sure a few of those tears were “poor little me” tears of sadness ‘cause I miss my family.

Officially the worst Christmas evar. *sigh*